Saturday, February 12, 2005
The Phoney War
All i yearn to say is, darn u singapore customs.
The war wages on, in the outskirts of johor bahru.
I was one of the three elites deployed to exterminate the hostile five on friday night.
It was a starlit night, and i remembered i wore a singlet.
I was then a brutalized bast, and i wanted the hostile five to be eliminated from this era forever.
We were fortified with ammunition that could last the battle till the wee hours in the next morning.
Real ammunition that can kill.
Not guns, grenades, carbines, or wadever, just fireworks.
Our fellow comrades had donated a munificient amount of fireworks to us, as we have the long range god thunder, long range swift lightning, short range coloured flasher, short range signals varying in patterns and colours.
Nevertheless, the hostile five were infamous for their long range devastating god thunder, sth like the mother of all bombs, which could produce a ravaging sound impact on us, capable of deafening us instantly.
Nah, we were not intimidated nor hesistant by these mofo stuffs.
The leader of the three elites was the 20 year-old salesman, a delicate man with refined manners.
He whispered, "This time we have to strike first, before they have the upperhand. We shall bombard them with the long range god thunder first, hoping that they are staggered by our first move."
He then turned to the youngest but most promising 12 year-old scooter boy, "Later you shall take the alley, onslaught them with the short range coloured flasher on their backs and burn their panties, right to the core. Give no mercy."
I like that verse.
Anyway, we lit three long range god thunder simultaneously, and caught them unprepared.
The war had finally commenced.
It was a confrontation of the major powers, as the two sides were in a skirmish for the remuneration of our bravery.
Chewing gums. A carton of them.
Lame but accept it. They cost 20 ringgit.
The hostile five were jolted by the sudden move but were in no haste to counter-attack.
Their forte was their divergent attack, where five long range swift lightning were launched at the same target simultaneously.
The skies of johor were lit, because of an unjustificable struggle between eight young men.
Anyway, our plan foiled, because the scooter-boy was jerked off by the recoil of the short range coloured flasher, and fleeced when the hostile five retaliated with the peanut bombers.
(The peanut bombers are absolutely remarkable, they just set off to give a small spark when they are thrown hard to the ground, and they just hurt people.)
Our ammunition began to run out soon, and the hostile five were grinning at us, bombarding us with funky and unorthodox fireworks.
They just resembled a bunch of faggots. I always have the urge to pound on them with 15kg of dumbbells in my hands.
Dejected. A mere peccadillo has taken us aback. We knew that no ammunition would mean a total defeat, and the adversaries had not released their devastating god thunder.
We had ammunition, just a carton of short range signals, anyway they resemble... grenades.
HaHaHaHa.
We just junked those lit ones into their compounds, and the hostile five became cheeky chickens.
HaHaHaHa.
What a way to celebrate the chicken year.
We almost burnt their house, who cares, we are munching our chewing gums and lived happily ever after.
HaHaHaHa.
Please, I am the fireworks pundit.
And again, darn u singapore customs.
The war wages on, in the outskirts of johor bahru.
I was one of the three elites deployed to exterminate the hostile five on friday night.
It was a starlit night, and i remembered i wore a singlet.
I was then a brutalized bast, and i wanted the hostile five to be eliminated from this era forever.
We were fortified with ammunition that could last the battle till the wee hours in the next morning.
Real ammunition that can kill.
Not guns, grenades, carbines, or wadever, just fireworks.
Our fellow comrades had donated a munificient amount of fireworks to us, as we have the long range god thunder, long range swift lightning, short range coloured flasher, short range signals varying in patterns and colours.
Nevertheless, the hostile five were infamous for their long range devastating god thunder, sth like the mother of all bombs, which could produce a ravaging sound impact on us, capable of deafening us instantly.
Nah, we were not intimidated nor hesistant by these mofo stuffs.
The leader of the three elites was the 20 year-old salesman, a delicate man with refined manners.
He whispered, "This time we have to strike first, before they have the upperhand. We shall bombard them with the long range god thunder first, hoping that they are staggered by our first move."
He then turned to the youngest but most promising 12 year-old scooter boy, "Later you shall take the alley, onslaught them with the short range coloured flasher on their backs and burn their panties, right to the core. Give no mercy."
I like that verse.
Anyway, we lit three long range god thunder simultaneously, and caught them unprepared.
The war had finally commenced.
It was a confrontation of the major powers, as the two sides were in a skirmish for the remuneration of our bravery.
Chewing gums. A carton of them.
Lame but accept it. They cost 20 ringgit.
The hostile five were jolted by the sudden move but were in no haste to counter-attack.
Their forte was their divergent attack, where five long range swift lightning were launched at the same target simultaneously.
The skies of johor were lit, because of an unjustificable struggle between eight young men.
Anyway, our plan foiled, because the scooter-boy was jerked off by the recoil of the short range coloured flasher, and fleeced when the hostile five retaliated with the peanut bombers.
(The peanut bombers are absolutely remarkable, they just set off to give a small spark when they are thrown hard to the ground, and they just hurt people.)
Our ammunition began to run out soon, and the hostile five were grinning at us, bombarding us with funky and unorthodox fireworks.
They just resembled a bunch of faggots. I always have the urge to pound on them with 15kg of dumbbells in my hands.
Dejected. A mere peccadillo has taken us aback. We knew that no ammunition would mean a total defeat, and the adversaries had not released their devastating god thunder.
We had ammunition, just a carton of short range signals, anyway they resemble... grenades.
HaHaHaHa.
We just junked those lit ones into their compounds, and the hostile five became cheeky chickens.
HaHaHaHa.
What a way to celebrate the chicken year.
We almost burnt their house, who cares, we are munching our chewing gums and lived happily ever after.
HaHaHaHa.
Please, I am the fireworks pundit.
And again, darn u singapore customs.
# posted by Dao @ 11:56 PM 
